First Love and Last Love

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

First love and Last love

I was sitting on the sand and watching the waves hitting the shore. "It has been 4 long years now" I thought "A lot of things have happened in life ". The waves were bringing back my old memories.

I still remember how I met a girl named Soumya in this place. I usually hit the beach on weekends to forget loneliness after my friends got scattered all over India after college. Since then I could ot find a circle of friends as I had in college. I usually see her sitting alone on the sands and viewing the waves.  There is a saying "Birds of same feather flock together ".I had never accepted this saying until I saw her.
Days went on ....Soon my eyes started to search for her every time I came to the beach. Slowly I felt something change within me. The following weekend I didn't to go to the beach as all my friends had planned for a reunion .Even though I was with my friends I could sense something was not at its place. Does it have to do anything with her?  I questioned myself ... my heart failed to answer my questions!! ..

Next weekend when I went to the beach my eyes didn't search for her. I was just admiring the beautiful waves... Waving its hands for me... Until I heard a voice... "Seems you didn't turn up last weekend "I just turned and noticed that, it was Soumya saying that  ... Those were the first words she spoke to me.

I never knew I was noticed by her all these days.  Words failed to come out of my mouth. "By The Way I am Soumya "were the next few words which brought me back to my senses. "Hi I am Raj!  Glad to meet you! "greeted her with a smile. "Mind If I sit here "she asked me tentatively, action spoke before words did and even before I could say no my head nodded a no with a capital "N" to her. She sat there beside me and we spoke. I experienced Einstein's theory of relativity on that day. Hours flew just like seconds. She said that she was from Kerala and came to Chennai for studies. She told that she would stay with her uncle and aunt till she finished her college and that her house was near the beach...
first last loveTime went on and the more we spent time together, friendship grew more between us. We exchanged numbers. Weekend meetings start to become weekdays night phone chatting. Slowly my feeling towards her started to change, I never felt so attracted to a girl before. She was changing my life which was full of loneliness to a more enjoyable and fun filled one. She was doing her final year of her college in a reputed arts college, so she was free in the evenings most of the time. She started to call me after her college hours and we spoke for hours and hours. It was only in the weekends that we met each other and spoke in person; otherwise it was only over the phone.. One day after speaking to her .I received a call from my mom. She was waiting for me in front of my office and she sounded dull. I just rushed to the entrance and saw my mom in tears.

I asked her "What happened?" her weeping grew more.  I again repeated my question. My mom told that My Dad had a heart attack and was admitted in hospital in Coimbatore. Working as Bank officer transfers are not new to my father. I tried to console her ...and then I came to my manager and informed him about my dad and asked permission to leave from office...Went in a hurry to airport to reach Coimbatore as soon as possible. That weekend I could not attend her phone, since I was in the ICU with my father and so I had to switch off my mobile.

On Sunday my Dad got better and   returning back to Chennai I checked my mobile it had some 50 odd messages from Soumya. The moment I saw it ... I knew she would be very angry on me ...for not turning up this weekend. I called her a few times; there was no answer from her. I just messaged her ... what all happened ... and was waiting for her reply... That day my eyes failed to see dreams... my heart sensed fear of losing a friend, my bed which was of roses since the day I started to speak to Soumya, became thorns to me.

The next weekend fate had different plans for me. I made it to the sands and was sitting there for about an hour, thinking about whether she would turn up or not. After waiting for another 30 odd minutes, I decided to leave ... and started walking towards my bike. I saw her in front of me, I went to her and said "Hi and Sorry Soumya I could not turn up last weekend. Had some problems I guess you can understand"... her silence gave me a signal that she was still angry with me!

She just went past me and sat on the sand.... I had no other option... I followed her foot steps and sat next to her ... "O.K.! Soumya!!!  I know ...you are angry on me!!!  I am sorry for not informing you, I guess you can understand in what situation I was in. "Her answer was silence. " If she doesn't like to speak to you!! Then don't disturb her!!!" my mind gave me orders. "O.K. then I guess I will leave! I don't wanna disturb you!!! "I got up with a heavy heart....

I took my first step and she broke her silence "Please don't go" she didn't sound good.  I went near her and sat with her and saw the waves, I saw her tears running down the cheeks, suddenly a guilty feeling started to creep into my heart. I asked her "Soumya!!! What happened? Why are crying?? ". "Did I say something wrong?" I questioned myself.

She wiped her tears and said "No you didn't say anything wrong ". "I could not be without talking to you!!! Raj!!! "

"You have become so close to me!!! That I feel you are a part of me!!! ".The moment she finished a question arised in my mind "Is she in love with me?".  I saw those eyes of her and could not come to a conclusion. "Are you in love with me? Soumya" I put forth my question to her. She gave me a glance and said "I don't know Raj, but I have never missed any one like I have missed you in my life!!! ". Words failed to come out from both of us. We returned home questioning ourselves "Are we in love?".

The night was long and my eyes failed to dream. Suddenly saw my mobile ringing .... It was her ...

"Hey Hi!!! Tell me!! ?"

There was silence "hello!!! Soumya!!! Are u there?"

"Sorry to disturb you!!! Thought you would be sleeping!"

"That's fine!! Had some work. I just went to bed! Any problem!?"

"No... not at all... just thought of speaking to you!"

"Oh OK".

"Raj!!!!!  Can I ask you a question? "

"Go on"

"What would be your decision if I say I am in love with you?"

I was caught on the thoughts... "Does she really mean it? I know I am not that attractive but she is!!!"

"Raj!!! You there!!! ?"

"Yeah!! Yeah!!  I am here!! "

"Did I ask anything wrong?"

"Nope"

I came to my senses and told her my decision... That I would have her as my better half. The next moment, I only heard sounds of tears; I felt her happiness in that cry, I felt her love on that day.

The days that followed were pleasant and the most unforgettable days in my life ...everything around me looked beautiful... I was experiencing the phrase "When love is in your heart, everything around you will appear beautiful than ever". We shared happiness, sorrows, and had little fights which made the bonding between us stronger. The life clock's pendulum doesn't always be in the happier side.Things started to change when she finished her college, her aunt and uncle found about our relationship and news automatically reached her mom.

One day she messaged me that she have received a telegram that her Mom is ill and that, she would be leaving to Kerala in some 15 minutes by flight and she will be back by a week. I called her up and spoke to her for 15 minutes. Those were the last 15 minutes we spoke. I never knew fate had a horrible twist in store for me. The next day I tried to call her up and I could not reach her. Something was bothering me the whole day, I tried to call her again in the night, and still I couldn't reach her.

The next day, my mobile glowed with her number, bringing delight in my face, I picked up the phone and I can only hear her cry ....

"Hello!!! Soumya!!! Is that you? What happened? Anything wrong? Why are you crying? How is your Mom?" I asked with my heart beating in my mouth.

She did not answer anything "Come on!! Speak to me Soumya!! What the hell happened?"

She said" Raj!!! "And then I could hear only her cry ... Her mom got the phone from her and just said "Don't ever call her again!! She got married Raj!!!" ...and she cut the call... I felt the world around me shatter, my heart became heavy. At that moment I wished the ground beneath me to devour me. There was nothing I could do, all things were over... Tears were starting to flow from my eyes.

I walked in the sands with the memories of Soumya; I sat and started to view the waves... for the first time in my life after meeting Soumya everything around me looked gloomy... I felt the waves were calling me towards them... My legs started to walk towards the waves...

A heard someone calling "Raj!! Raj!! Come here!! ".My eyes started to search who was the person? " Come here!!! Don't play with the sand "It was some kid Raj's Mom. But I thought I saw a bit of my Mom in her. I took a decision. I prepared myself to face the facts of my life. I called my Mom and said what had happened. She consoled me.  I said about my decision... At first she never accepted to my decision... I
switched off the phone... and I walked towards my bike...

"Paapa!! See what I have made for you!!! "which brought me back to the present ....

"Yeah!! Dear!! " ...

"A sand castle for you Pappa!!"

"Oh that's lovely dear" I said with a smile, looking at my child.

"Come here!! Soumya!! Let us stand here..."

She came running towards me ... I lifted her ... and kissed her on the forehead... Soumya, my adopted child. I have started to live my life for her for past 3 yrs.

I took her hand, and made the waves touch her feet. She was smiling at me.

"Come on Dear!!! Let's go home!! Grandma will be waiting for us".

I held her hand and we started to walk over the sands...

I turned back to watch my footsteps... and felt

"My first love was Soumya, My last love will be Soumya too "

I walked towards my bike holding my last love's hand.


******************************       The End  **********************************

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